Everything's pretty stupid!!!
I like non sense... but not this much!!
I'm able to cry and laugh, to feel happy and miserable...
at the same tiny minute!
What a richness of emotions this is...
(Being ironic it's a wonderful thing in these moments. I wasn't able to laugh at me and I would be deadly sad by this time. I like to be friend of myself, todos os dias quando acordo sorrio para o espelho, mas nos últimos tempos a imagem devolvida não me convence...)
I've been flying around the city carrying myself through peaceful places... sunsets... salt mountains... foamy waves in the beach... far street lights in the dusk.
It's like I'm 2 people now, and I have to take care of this fragile part of me. If she cries I've to sing, If she's angry we go for a jogging, if she's extremely sad we just lay down on the sofa with the most beatiful music... she's so weak and I've to be the strong one. She falls in love with boys that look like girls, I've to tell her they are gay, she follows strangers in the streets... She wants to run away, go for the mountains, for horse riding in the forest, go in a train till Paris, I've to remenber her the T word, thesis to write ;)
Today we pass through an art exhibition where colored stones were shown in a row in the wall. Public is suposed to write around the stones feelings that come out with it. She wrote next to a electric blue stone-piece of art:
"se não me tivesses magoado TANTO serias assim: um pedaço de AZUL BRILHANTE na minha vida".
I stared at her/me, myself/whatever without understanding what a hell I/she real feel(s).
...
Haven't I concluded yet that everything happens for a reason and being dumped was, for a thousand of reasons I can´t remember now, the best thing it could have happened?
Hum.
It annoys me be writing in english but it seems that otherwise I wouldn't be able to write so much... it's like I can pretend this is just a literary exercise...
What in fact is a fantastic idea... let dreams be my reality now!!
1 comentário:
...What remains to be said is that all ones who care for you will be here listening to your thoughts, to your ups and downs in this strange rollercoaster that life keeps on being (yeah! Your words came into my mind always shaped with your so sweet voice). No more sorry!...Just get on with our decisions...even if they bring up nightmares and eternal sorrow...What else could be done? Most damaged now…but you’re special for so many people (and I simply dare to be just one of them). You are the greatness one who once was so near…really near. Shame on me! This is definitely what needs to be said.
…but You go on…
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